12/21/14 Micro-Agression

Plain old aggression is no longer enough. Now we have micro-aggression, or so I have learned. We are going to carry sensitivity to such heights we will soon be offending others by not being offended when they think we should. That would not be micro-aggression, but macro-aggression.

I first heard of micro-aggression over the Harvard University decision to remove Soda-Stream products from vending machines on campus because Palestinian students were offended by them because Soda-Stream is an Israeli company. The same thing has happened to Sabra brand hummus. Oddly, I have and like a Soda Stream machine, and in learning to like Hummus, it is the Sabra brand I always choose, especially their pine-nut variety. If you find this majorly offensive, then I am pleased, because I am absolutely unconcerned with what you may perceive as my micro-aggression.

The entire world is coming under the scrutiny of an ersatz awareness wherein everything is micro-analyzed and dissected to determine its suitability for public view and consumption: an expanding tyranny of the micro-crowd attempting to control the activities of the world at large. I think the micro-crowd has better, more productive ways to spend their time than micro-managing my micro-aggression. We are forced into farce.

I will not yield. I will now go out and restock, in quantity, all my Soda Stream CO2 canisters, and stock up on every flavor that I like, refusing some only because I don’t like them. Some like liquorice. I don’t. I find the Anise flavor distasteful. Since pimpinella anisum, the plant from which anise is extracted from seed is Mediterranean origin, does the new micro-aggression mean that I must now like liquorice or I am being micro-aggressive? If that is the definition of micro-aggression, then I am guilty as charged.

Is every group, consortium, cabal, or association now able to define aggression according to their own sensitivity? How sensitive is sensitive enough? There is no answer, and I will not eat liquorice. I do not like it. I won’t eat it. If that offends someone, let them eat pork for all I care.

What next? The same group that finds Soda Stream offensive will now lobby to have sausage and Canadian bacon banned from pizza? To deny me bacon with my eggs? Am I micro-aggressive because I am planning on preparing and eating a slice of country ham with this morning’s breakfast? Going to boycott Waffle-House because they serve typical and cherished breakfast foods to Americans who like them? Ban hot-dogs from college campus because they have pork in favor of Hebrew National all-beef frankfurters? Ooops! I said “Hebrew”. Sorry if my micro-aggression exposed itself.

I think one thing is evident with the new meme of micro-aggression. Too many students, and too many college administrators, have too little to do. It’s a tough world and the sooner our pampered students get busy dealing with it, the better off they will be. I suspect, and you’ll excuse me for this observation, that the students driving this campaign against micro-aggression are not studying engineering or bio-genetics: they are too busy studying to waste time with micro-aggression. Micro-aggression accusations are akin to “thought-policing.” Excuse me, but I think Kim Jong Un is a better micro-aggression analyst and manager than college students at Harvard, and it is Kim Jong Un that many of the micro-aggressor indicators would turn in to had they the chance.

Why does anyone come to another country and try to change its culture, anyway? We celebrate culture the world over, including the ridiculous cantilevered penis-sheaths worn by men in some tribal cultures. In this case, we aren’t even talking about culture, but about commercial products. Encouraged to abandon my unhealthy fat-laden-junk-food diet, some have taught me the pleasures of hummus; but it is not enough that I eat hummus in pita bread instead onion-dip covered Fritos, I must avoid a particular brand of hummus, not because of the nutritional value of its contents, but because of some micro-aggressive political reason perpetrated on innocent victims because of their unawareness or lack of sensitivity. I am far more concerned with labels on clothing or electronic items that read “Made in China” where they may actually use slave labor than I am about anything that is manufactured in Israel, owned by Israelis, or owned, operated, and distributed by those descendants of Jacob, which, I suspect, is the real indication of other’s micro-aggression.

Many of my Jewish friends are sympathetic to the cause of Palestine. I don’t mind this and understand it. But there’s something they should understand, too: Their sensitivity to the plight of Palestinians will not help them if they fall into the hands of extremists. Assurances of “I am on your side” will not help them keep their heads attached. They can applaud the loudest, but when the Kim Jong Un types get through, they will be a mere memory, sort of like some of Kim Jong Un’s uncles. The world is a dangerous place.

It is not my micro-aggression others should try to manage. It is my macro-aggression they should be more concerned about. If I were them, I’d let everything else slide. The world will not stand idly by and let demands for tolerance and sensitivity corral it into a submissive pose. People demanding tolerance will one-day learn that even tolerant people have their limitations. Perhaps we are beginning to see some of the limits of toleration among the traditionally tolerant Dutch. If someone expects people to tolerate the extermination of their own culture, they may find the notion resisted in such a way that complaints of insensitivity fall on deaf ears, and perceived micro-aggressions morph into something much more heinous.

The people in the United States of America who perceive micro-aggressions and petition against it have plenty to eat, a roof over their head, and a warm place to sleep, I’ll wager and offer pretty good odds, with no worries similar to those of any uncle of Kim Jong Un.

They should be more thankful and less passive-micro-aggressive if you ask me.

Micro-aggressive? I am majorly unconcerned.

Merry Christmas! If you can’t take that in the spirit it was intended, and find it offensive, then be offended with my compliments, and enjoy your pineapple-glazed Christmas ham, or not. Just know that I am going to, and will be thankful for the pig that sacrificed so much that my family’s collective belly may be filled. It will be good.

If you want to experience macro-aggression, defiantly or passively insert yourself between me and the ham.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s