6/22/19 I Don’t Know

“I don’t know,” said Hemocastle as to the diagnosis of Myelo’s pain and other symptoms. After several CT scans and Ultrasounds, Surgeon Two Lips declared, “There are several things that I know that are not wrong with him, but I don’t know what is,” adding, “But I see nothing that requires surgery.” This was a…

4/23/19 The Part in Front of You

Just look at the part in front of you; the whole is overwhelming. That’s what I repeatedly tell myself, overwhelmed as I am. I survey the twelve acres of publicly accessible Timberview Lodge property, amid the hundreds of acres not observable from here: The roofless Guest House, the damaged Main Lodge, the holes in the…

2/1/19 Logic Thwarts Medical Experts, or Not

Several times, I have had doctors ask me, “Do you have any medical training?” Formerly, I was asked it in the manner of a rebuke, as if physicians were implying that it was not possible for me to have any valid opinion about the rabbit hole I could see them going down, that it was…

1/31/19 Obscure Marx Brothers and Blood Cancers

This is a long read. I do not apologize.  Did you know there were five Marx brothers? Everyone knows Groucho, Harpo, and Chico. There were two more: Gummo and Zeppo. They weren’t nearly as well known. Rumor has it that there may be two more, younger, perhaps illegitimate brothers, heretofore unheard of. When it comes…

12/23/18 It’s Christmas Time

Merry Christmas to everyone. It’s been hard times around here. I haven’t written much because I have not had time to write. In the past month, we’ve buried two members of my family, and my brother diagnosed with an as yet undetermined blood cancer. That’s two of us now. In addition to all the many…

12/1/18 No Words

Sometimes there are simply no words. No words of comfort. No words of wisdom. No words of understanding. Sometimes there are only questions for which there are no answers. This is one of those times. Watching heretofore unimaginable grief and pain in those I love so dearly is a lesson in futility for me. Everything…

11/15/18 Ruxolitinib Moves On Without Me

I started the BATCC clinical trial on ruxolitinib on June 17, 2016. It was a two year trial designed test the effectiveness of ruxolitinib on alleviating the symptoms of CLL (fatigue, bone pain, joint pain, and others) by targeting cells that carried the JAK-7 enzyme, which produces inflammation. Inflammation is the source of many diseases…